“Have the courage to turn away from everything that doesn’t feed your soul” –– Unknown
The beginning of another new year has arrived. 2021 has been the first year I’ve been inspired to be unapologetically me, and it's brought a new sense of excitement to my life as I move into the work we're doing here at the ranch.
As I move forward, I realize that a “new time” in your life can often be filled with many positive things. But those positives can sometimes hidden behind the "negatives" that are currently present in your life.
You know...hidden behind fear, anxiety or some series of emotions you're experiencing due to change that may be happening. Sometimes, you simply can’t see the progress you're making because you’re overwhelmed by mental clutter and by the mind trash that is created by the ego.
In not having the space to process the positive, and explore the "what could be/is to be," there is no way to find the joy and hope being brought forth in the “new.”
And in not being able to see the beauty of what's being born or embrace it makes you weary. You’re weary from the noise in your life that blocks your ability to see beyond your immediate circumstances.
In the past decade, when I've experienced this, I kept trying to find a term for this in order to identify it. I asked myself:
“What is this –– and why do I experience it?”
After thinking about it for the better part of a decade, the right questions finally started coming to me:
“What if you can’t find joy in a new times, new evolutions, new births and deaths because you are soul tired?”
"Soul Tired" was that term I started to use to describe when I felt my light had burned out and that my spirit was exhausted.
In 2017, when my transformational life coach Kecia was guiding me through a myriad of changes I was making in my old business and starting this one. During this time, I felt as if I was in continual state of rapid evolution; my mind was always "on" and processing the many things related to my business and personal life.
Those thought patterns included constant analysis of what I thought I wanted, what didn’t satisfy me anymore, and what I really wanted. I remember telling her:
The passion for what I’ve done is starting to fade, it’s hard for me to do the work I do –– with all the steps forward, there seem to be more steps back.
I don’t know how I can continue to help our clients succeed when their business models don’t accommodate growth. I’ve put so much of who I am into this business, I thought I had a clear path but the waters have become murky, I don’t know what the goals are anymore or why I even do this?
And personally, I don’t know who I am because it’s hidden by work. I’m off balance. My soul is tired and it doesn’t know how to find the passion it once felt, I can’t find the spark.
Soul tired, in my opinion, is something that happens when you lose your way. It happens when you become so “off course” in your life.
Personally, professionally, emotionally, spiritually –– usually it's all connected.
When you're soul tired, your spirit is being pulled in too many directions.
Overcommitment, couple with distraction, is often the culprit of soul becoming tired and fatigued. Think about it, you’re walking through your daily life pretending everything is okay when, on the inside, your heart is screaming at you to pay attention to what pains it.
Your spirit is hurting because it’s not being nourished.
I’ve come to learn that stuffing your needs, wants and desires isn’t good for you; they slowly begin to pile on top of one another, and before you know it, your life starts to fall apart –– even if you feel you’re holding it together.
You put on mask, and as your soul withers on the inside, you look like you have it all together the outside. Finally, all the things you’re carrying become too heavy and you falter. You may want to burn your house down and hopefully, rise like a Phoenix from the ash. Some of you may be that brazen, some of you may have to be more careful.
Many of us have people who depend and count on us, so you most likely you can’t burn the house down. Maybe you simply settle for quietly crawling into bed and possibly crying a little. And you stay there for awhile, until you can pull yourself up, wash your face and move forward.
The last time I was there (2017 was the year of soul speak), I curled into that very fetal position, and cried. And cried. And cried. Once the tears stopped, I got up again.
This time, as I peeled myself off the floor, I began to look for ways to discover how I had gotten to this point, and how to get I could get myself out of being “tired.”
The thing is, when your soul is tired, it’s a sign that you’re living out of alignment with your true purpose in life.
Obviously, discovering and finding something as big and grand as your purpose requires prolonged assessment and it’s a path that can take years to successfully walk and find the end.
There are ways to help your soul feel less heavy along the way, and help yourself along the path of discover. Here’s what I do:
- First: I admit that I am soul tired.
- Second: I take a day/weekend/week off and and spend it with myself.
- Third: I take a journal and write down everything that is weighing on my soul (my heart, my head, everything).
Fourth: Once I’ve written that list, I read it and look for ways to bring a rebalance to life as it is right now. I ask myself:
- Are there ways I can simplify?
- Can I remove certain commitments?
- What on this list holds priority?
- What on this list should have no priority?
- Are some places in my life I can simply say “NO.”
Fifth: From that list, I then look at how many items are related to people.
- Are there relationships that are draining me?
- If so, is there a way to work my way out of them?
- Sixth: I then look at my environment. While I’m a very neat and organized person, sometimes my space can be cluttered. I clean out drawers, do the dishes and even deep clean the house, simply to get the energy flowing. Our environment has a huge impact on us, so I always make sure mine is pristine.
- Seventh: I prioritize me. Whatever I need to do to make time for myself, I do it. It’s always been hard to put myself first, but in the past year, I’ve seen the positive impact doing this has had on relationships.
Just like a broken heart needs time to mend after loss, the soul also needs time to rest, recuperate, and heal.
Even though you can’t see your soul, you must remember it is every bit as important as the physical body it resides in.