A little over year ago, every inch of space in my life was taken up with something to do, somewhere to be, someone to meet. I was pushing myself to impossible limits, believing that was what it meant to be a superwoman. But I was burned out, a robot joylessly going through the motions. I knew I had to change. – Alicia Keys, Glamour Magazine, November 2008
It's been 14.5 years since I first read that quote in Glamour. I remember when I bought that magazine, I was 28, living in West Hollywood, at the height of my career. I was absolutely obsessed with Alicia Keys.
For whatever reason, that quote has stuck with me ever since I first read it. As I’ve gotten older, my need for barriers between the public and private views of my life on the Internet has become something I’m especially mindful of.
This is due in part to the fact my life has become more thoughtfully lived. I'm more intentional and slower…and more hidden.
As so many people keep speeding up, I’ve drawn a line I’m not willing to cross, I’ll not follow the cadence of what others tell me I need to move at, it’s unhealthy.
I've updated this article every year, for fourteen years. It's traveled across no less than six websites. That quote, and what I write over and over in this post, show me my evolution personally and professionally.
I think it continually reminds me that as women, our lives are infinitely complex. We’re wives or significant others, we are caretakers, givers, we are business executives, we are life coaches, and life providers.
- Decisions: Everyday, we’re faced with choices we feel that we have to make, right NOW – that overwhelm us, make us question ourselves…out of fear or the inability to believe in ourselves…
- Decisions: Those choices often leave us slaves to social norms, our fears cripple us and prevent us from moving towards what we truly want in our lives because it goes against what society says we should be or what we should aspire to.
- Decisions: Sometimes going against the grain and saying, “No, I am important. I deserve what I desire,” is what we need to do, even if it scares us. And honestly, it’s our right.
I’ve been the superwoman that Keys spoke of, losing her ability to say no. It was a dangerous place to be, almost losing myself.
But I caught myself, reclaimed pieces of my soul that I’d let others take, reached out friends to gain support, and accepted how I want to live is just fine. I decided to become a new kind of superwoman, one that’s imperfect, and one that’s:
- Intentional
- Intuitive
- Introspective
She's led by her heart, and who’s comfortable in her own skin. While she stands on her own, she’ll also lean on the people she needs most.
A friend is someone who looks out for you when you’ve forgotten how to look out for yourself. Let their love guide you. – Alicia Keys
Self-Inquiry
Are you a superwoman right now? Is every area of your life filled to the brim?
Is there a places where you could be saying "No" in order regain balance or rest?
